Men's Health Month Feature: Your Life Coach, Jose Ferrer

What's going on? It's your Life Coach, Jose Ferrer answering questions and giving advice, straight chaser.

Before we get started, feel free to hit me up via email ( or on Instagram @JoseFerrer875, should you have any questions and need advice. I will answer all questions.

Question: "I am a 48 year old divorced man who recently found someone who I can love and connect with. Here's the problem. How do I make them secure in knowing that though I have "been there and done that", this time is different. I want to take it to a serious level but they don't feel comfortable because I have been married before and it didn't work out. What can I do?"

Answer: First, you have to find out where the insecurity is coming from. Is it coming from something you are doing or not doing? If the relationship is something you love and cherish, then patience shouldn't be hard. Time will tell all and time will help identify true feelings. Continue to show love. Try not to disconnect because they may not move as quickly as you want. Maybe they are healing from something too. If so, remember that everyone heals and deals with new beginnings at their own pace. Continue to do things to make them feel special. Take them to new and exciting places. Be creative and build new memories in this new found relationship that will help your mate see that this IS different. It may just take some time.

Question: "I recently broke up with my partner when the world began to open up from being on lock down. We moved in together during the pandemic to make our relationship stronger. Our relationship did become strong, however when things opened up, we both wanted our freedom. Bad decision. Now, broken up, all I can do is think about them. There is nothing for me out here. Nothing. The sad thing is, I believe they are dating multiple people. What should I do and how can I get them back?"

Answer: Missing an "ex" isn't unusual. Now things are different and you have to find out what's going on in their mind. Do they feel the same? Do they miss you just as much? Take them out. See what's going on in their heart and mind. Be honest with how you are feeling. If you feel you made a mistake, say that. Show them that letting go again is not an option and they can trust you. If true love is there, it hasn't gone anywhere. The only thing is, now you are at the bottom of dating pool hoping for a chance.

The same way you got them before, show them they are worth it again. Work even harder this time around. They are worth being romanced. Check this out... What you have on the others is at least a year of consistent intimacy. Use this to your advantage. Now, don't be mad because they are seeing multiple people. Be cool. Don't get in your feelings. They have to make the choice to be with you again or not. Then together, you both have to make the choice to hold on to what you have no matter what's going on in the world.

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